Friday, December 18, 2009

Day's End

Today came.  
Today went.

Reading. Writing. Speaking. 
Singing. Hoping. Giving. 
Receiving. Smiling. Laughing.
Working. Typing. Thinking.

Eyes now closing.  
Feet tapping.  

Pause.  Pray.
Give thanks.

 december 18, 2009
I got home from work after midnight.  My mind was swimming with all I need to get many things left undone.  The things on my list that will soon have to get done.

I thought, 'Well, what did I accomplish today?' Just the small list in my little prose makes a worthwhile day.

Most of my days, and I would think most everyone's days, are spent relating.  The only way we can't relate is if we cease to exist.  Some think that we never cease.  I don't concern myself much with that.

My day began laughing with my son and ended laughing with my daughter. In between involved good conversation with others, even the dogs, Maggie and Butter.  What more can one ask for?


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

poetry, music, art
dances through the air
here's a flick quite smart
with you I'd like to share

Check it out:

Art-O-Mat Promo Video - Lee Fenyves from leefenvisual on Vimeo.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Blogging Doodles

I'm aware you read my scribbles;
at times it embarrasses me.

I think you think,
Why does she do it?

Put all these curves
and lines for folks to read?

I dunno, sometimes I wonder too;
tomorrow could be my last day.

Part of my remains would be
this stuff in cyber space,

until the net collapses
and the temporal is blipped.

So I'll just keep typing
'til I decide to quit.

tap, tap, tap
flip, flip, flip

december 7, 2009

Perusing photos, and one made me think.

Yes, sometimes I think.... ;-)

Saturday, December 5, 2009

"Until Then"

Pristine notes, words of praise
Age-old hymns bestow God's light
The dark-skinned man bellows deep
Sings with all his might

Causing my heart to swell

He sings of endurance
He sings of joy
He sings of pain in the temporal now
He sings of everlasting streets of gold

Causing my tears to roll

Well, is it true O God my Lord?
Will there someday be
This home of peace, of bliss, of joy
A place of forever harmony?

Causing my soul to cry fervently

Surely 'tis true that all shall see
Face to face and eye to eye
Surely 'tis true there'll be a time
All wrongs to be made right

Causing my spirit to yearn

Until that day, O God, I pray
Allow my heart to stay tender
My eyes to see beyond hostility
And never evil for evil to render

Your boundless love, God of Life,
Causing my breast to hope eternal

june 5, 2007

In May, 2007, my husband and I watched a televised presentation of the dedication of the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte, North Carolina, USA.  Wintley Phipps sang the hymn "Until Then" with so much joy and life and exurberance; it was thrilling to watch.

At the time I was deeply struggling with my own beliefs as far as God, the Bible, Jesus Christ, who I was, my marriage...just a lot of things. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I embraced the words coming from what I felt/feel to be a man with a giant heart of grace and love.

Regardless of one's spiritual beliefs, songs like this which bring relief and hope and joy to the soul, can help us each to continue to strive for a better and in the future.

"Until Then" was a favorite of mine while in The Way.  I recall when Rev. Cummins used to sing it at certain occasions.

I couldn't find a good youtube of Wintley Phipps singing "Until Then." However, this rendition of "Amazing Grace," another one of my favorites, gives a glimpse of Phipps' voice and presence.

Emotional Rape

(Language Warning)

"Did I hurt you?"
You innocently inquire
You fucking moron
You self-centered son of a bitch
Your arrogance inflates your ego
Your ego inflates your dick

You opened your soul
I opened mine
Then, you turned

Gazing at your back
I awaited
With tender expectation

Unbeknownsted to me
You prepared
Your mockery

About faced
Madness in your eyes
Delight in manipulation

I stood
Confused, perplexed
Mixed signals

You stood erect
Jerking off
With heinous laughter

Jism spewed, milky clear
My personal exhibitionist
I watched in disgust

Your words cut deep
"I'm here for you, sucker...
Lick it up, you trusting soul"

Did you hurt me?
I won't grant you that power
I hurt because I chose to trust
A pompous ass like you

May all your days
Be bathed by masturbation

january 26, 2008


Well, need I say I was angry?  Oh my!

In December, 2007, someone had befriended me via an online forum. After about a month of communication and me being honest and open, the other party seemed to be giving the cold shoulder.  It confused me at the time.  I didn't react like in the poem to the individual, and I later learned the other party was just going through a hard time; all ended up well.

Still, I like the far as giving expression to anger.  The prose is graphic; and so is ab-use.

I stated elsewhere, "....I don't talk like this...and seldom think like this. There was a time I would never have let anyone see this side of me. It's kind of freeing to have an outlet for it...."