Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Ashamedness

I awoke feeling ashamed, again.
Are ashamed and shame the same thing?
Ashamed has a different connotation to me than shame.

Shame has a feeling of a core belief, a loath defectiveness of the self resulting in feelings of worthlessness.
Ashamed has a feeling of an occasional visitor, and perhaps even appropriately so, some thing a being feels after committing a wrong, or a perceived wrong.

I should be thankful that I can feel ashamed.
Maybe the world needs more of that.

But it doesn't stop there, at the feeling.
The afflicted seeks to find relief from the ashamedness.
What brings relief?
I don't know if I know.
One reaction is to toss it and not even consider it, or to cut it off, or to drown it.
I guess some would drown it with alcohol.
Perhaps that is one reason for abuse of the substance.

I think I am of the opinion that all substance abuse is self-medication gone awry.

***
Looked up the difference later, after penning the above. From Difference Between Shame and Ashamed:

In summary, shame and ashamed are two very different words because of the following reasons:
  • 1. Shame is generally used as a noun whereas ashamed is typically used as an adjective.
  • 2. Shame is the actual feeling (an affect or emotion) which is considered to be a painful one while ashamed is feeling shame itself.