I lay in bed last night, waiting for sleep.
And I began to cry.
I feel so defeated. Defeated.
More tears flowed as I cataloged my losses.
Mainly friends who have gone missing.
Though I'm really the one who went missing.
Then I counted the few friends who I still communicate with.
I really am not able to do more.
Neurological fatigue simply doesn't allow it.
This morning, I awoke to tears.
I pushed my weary body out of bed.
I opened the blinds.
A lone deer was in the back yard.
Meandering.
Sniffing the ground.
She came almost, all the way, up to the deck.
My heart smiled.
The other night, three doe and two fawns were laying in the back yard.
They bring me comfort.
I'm still dealing with shingles.
The boils are gone, along with the intense pain.
But the fatigue continues, multiplying my normal fatigue.
And my head, inner ear, and jaw still hurt.
On my right side.
Low level pain.
And they itch.
And a sore appeared in my mouth.
On my top gum, right side.
Another shingles gift, I reckon.
My next epidural is on November 30th.
It will be number 32.
I wonder how long Job was sick?
