45

~ jerk ~
* retard *
~ idiot ~

broken record in my head
whisperings of defection
blotch on humanity
I am my own worst enemy

~ stupid ~
* fuck up *
~ moron ~

demon's finger
holds the stylus in the groove
gramophone of defeat
abrasions of self destruction

round and round
over and over
again and again
same damn growlings

at least they could expand their vocabulary


judithpiper
august 3, 2oo7


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The tyranny of self-loathing is a wretched 'invisible' prison.The blight of impossible standards feeds the ruler of such tyranny.

I'm thankful that such tyranny and fodder has been malnourished now from my soul. Occasionally, an unrelenting standard crop grows. Yet these days, it is more readily purged than prior decades.

Glad the days of this defeating self-talk are mostly by-gone. Still, I hope I never forget the mental torment and anguish of the dis-ease.

***************