Uncertainty
Weather is uncertain
But it is reliable
Reliable to change
It does follow patterns
Yet, I do not live in fear
Of the weather
But I am, to the best of my ability
Prepared for the elements
Weather is energy on display
What happens in the macro
Happens in the micro
How far does that analogy go?
How deep is its reality?
Am I prepared for the storm inside me?
*pause*
Wow...
My responses...
Too many to write...
Here's a few...
Anxiety
Tenseness all through my limbs
"Am I prepared?"
Doctor faces flash through my head.
Prednisone tablets. Steroid injections.
Gabapentin. Hydrocodone. Xanax.
My backups.
"Yes.
I am prepared as I can be."
I realize I'm tense.
I consciously relax.
I recognize that even when one is prepared
for severe weather, the weather can still bring
calamity and death.
Meditations. Herbs. Lights.
Sunshine. Nature. Now.
Food. Shelter. Mobility.
Good mechanic. Music.
Family who understands.
Husband who lovingly cares for me
and excellently provides.
"Yes.
I am prepared as I can be."
Heart calms.
Yet I'm still on guard.
May I release the guard
Like the wild guard dog
Let go
Lie down
The threat, or perceived threat, is gone
Let go
Lay it down
Be free
