Uncertainty

Uncertainty

Weather is uncertain

But it is reliable

Reliable to change

It does follow patterns

Yet, I do not live in fear

Of the weather

But I am, to the best of my ability

Prepared for the elements

Weather is energy on display

What happens in the macro

Happens in the micro

How far does that analogy go?

How deep is its reality?

Am I prepared for the storm inside me?

*pause*

Wow...

My responses...

Too many to write...

Here's a few...

Anxiety

Tenseness all through my limbs

"Am I prepared?"

Doctor faces flash through my head.

Prednisone tablets. Steroid injections. 

Gabapentin. Hydrocodone. Xanax.

My backups. 

"Yes. 

I am prepared as I can be."

I realize I'm tense.

I consciously relax.

I recognize that even when one is prepared

for severe weather, the weather can still bring

calamity and death.

Meditations. Herbs. Lights.

Sunshine. Nature. Now.

Food. Shelter. Mobility.

Good mechanic. Music.

Family who understands. 

Husband who lovingly cares for me 

and excellently provides. 

"Yes.

I am prepared as I can be."

Heart calms.

Yet I'm still on guard. 

May I release the guard

Like the wild guard dog

Let go 

Lie down

The threat, or perceived threat, is gone

Let go

Lay it down

Be free