Pinhole View: Prose 2

My heart cried out
to the forces that be.

"Where are you?
Can you hear me?
Do you exist?
Dare I believe?"

My heart craved,
yearning to find
its place
in this great big world
among this human race.

"Where do I fit?
Where do I belong?
So many choices...
What if I'm wrong?"

I tried to fit
so many places
among different groups
diverse faces.

Times of elation,
times of doubt.
Times of exuberance,
times of remorse.

"Where do I turn,
where do I stake
this life of mine?
Upon what course?"

For awhile I settled for mediocrity,
But my soul suffered emptily.
I searched, pondered through many books.

Philosophies, answers
in so many nooks.

Then I came full circle
back to Jesus Christ
and God's Word.

I found myself humbled,
small again.

Was I the wiser
for wandering?

Aye? Nay?
Of the answer
I am uncertain.

But humbled,
I am.

I trust my heart
will stay
honest
open
upon this new,
old course.


judithpiper
december, 2005
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This poem is Prose 2 of 3. All three parts can be read here:
Pinhole View: A Trilogy

Prose 1 can be read alone here: Pinhole View: Prose 1
Prose 3 can be read alone here: Pinhole View: Prose 3

I wrote Prose 2 two months after leaving The Way, after spending months and months searching.

I ended up leaving The Way via a Way splinter group and, at the time, I felt I had found genuine fellowship again via that splinter group. The group and its teachings were beyond helpful at the time, and for that I will always be thankful.
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