To read an introduction and access the Shorts index, click here: Shorts: Introduction
Dedicated to all who suffer in silence...
Which isn't silent at all...
The torment is a far scream from quiet...
You are heard...
You are not alone...
We are not alone...
Monday, 5/01/23
Today in 17 syllables
Disorientation
Orientation
That's 20
Now 27
Lying on my belly
Hair-thin needles
Head, back, arms, hands
Legs, feet
And plum blossom
Keb sings
"Get down on your knees and pray"
I think I will, Keb
Monday, 5/01/23
Lying in bed
Gazing out window
Watching leaves
Clap and wave
I want to be recognized
I want others to know I've done things
I want to be seen
Does air want to be seen
What does air look like
Air moves things
Valance on window
Crytal hangs on fishing line
Air from vent
Causes both to dance
I felt very lonely today
But now I see
Air is my companion
Wednesday, 5/03/23
Writing without my lap desk
Balance Moleskine on thighs
Balance pen awkwardly
Between thumb and two fingers
Thursday, 5/04/23
When Son made an error
In a baseball game
Coach would say
"Shake it off"
This morning
Envisioning pain
In left thigh
It was an oval shape
Orange in color
Which then turned to creamsicle
Do I write
17 syllables
Too tired to try
Headlamp shines on page
I close my eyes
Gently smile
Outside and in
Friday, 5/05/23
Recording thoughts
One syllable
At a time
To not be bound by them
To not be bound by the present-past
The last second has already passed
I think my Insiders are in some way
Related to my organ systems
Fascinating
Do I share about my Insiders
No, not yet
Maybe never
You have trusted healers
With whom you've shared
And they don't think you are looney
Diana, Michele, Andres, Todd
True healers
My body is the true healer
I wonder if others have Insiders
Born from making sense of the world
Of making sense in their own world
Perhaps that is one way
That cartoonists create
Guardians 3 is out!!!
Why do I shiver
When I am not cold
Is my body shaking off toxicity
Warming me in order to receive
Close my eyes
Ask, "what do I write"
So that is what I wrote
Wrote Shorts on my phone this morning
That is so strange
That we can "write" on our phones
Is a Short a Short
If I type it on my phone
Instead of writing it in my Moleskine
Saturday, 5/06/23
Release my self from the
Eye of scrutiny
Dive back into the
Eye of the storm
I grok the torture
The insanity
Of sleep deprivation
It causes something
That I cannot describe
In this moment...
It's like a fuzzy darkness
Impossible to grasp
Where the stars are not clear
Are they stars
Or are they
Snowflakes
Whatever they are
They vibrate, staticky
Like the signals are not getting through
I see this in my brain
Not in my torso
Is the static I feel
Like that in my limbs
Decision making
Is next to impossible
Thankful my self-care tasks
Are routine
Sunday, 5/07/23
Shorts are like
Tweets
But shorter
Shorts are just thoughts
That is all they are
Thoughts with words
Looking out
Bedroom window
Refreshing view
Vomiting today
Weak on weak
Sick on sick
This journal has gotten
So messy
There must be some oxen
In the stalls
Where there are messes
There is life
Be thankful for the messes
Monday, 5/08/23
How do I describe
The last 31 hours
It's felt like a month
I felt even weaker today
After I was able
To move about a bit
No wonder I can't
Totally relax
I lose function
When someone is in a coma
Someone else has to
Move the sleeper's limbs
Otherwise, they atrophy away
Wednesday, 5/10/23
For months I've wondered
What is the point of working so hard
Just to keep my body moving
That is my full-time job
But to what end
I'm not able to serve others
Yesterday an answer came
When preparation meets opportunity
Success happens
I'm staying prepared
Hubby snores loudly
In adjacent bedroom
Where Son used to snore
Saturday, 5/13/23
The dizziness
The nausea
Please stop
Pining for life
Outside the incessant
Tasks of selfcare
Pining for life
Beyond the incessant
Misery of symptom overload
I pant to escape this drudgery
Therein my suffering is multiplied
Desiring life to be otherwise
Gratitude
Acceptance
Endurance
Ground me
This too shall pass
By death or
By worsening or
By freedom
I wish I could convey more clearly
The severity of my symptoms
All their repurcussions
GET ME
OUT OF
HERE!!!!
Sleep would be
A welcome
Escape
Sunday, 5/14/23
Daughter texted today
Son called
Filled with gratitude
Is my heart
How do you feel
Grateful, so grateful
Last night I was raging
I am whole
I trust
I am love
I am
Heat on back
Headlamp on forehead
Fan breezes cool me
Comfort is
Not being
Dizzy
I breathe in the suffering
Of all the medically injured
I breathe out
Peace, comfort, strength
To all
