Dedicated to all who suffer in silence...
Which isn't silent at all...
The torment is a far scream from quiet...
You are heard...
Sunday, 1/01/23
Tears here, cheeks damp
Suffering, relief, resonance
I am not alone
trees reach out with naked limbs
speaking to the sky
and to whomever will listen
insane insomnia
innate intelligence, my body
she knows how to heal
Monday, 1/02/23
I took his last name
So glad that I did
Husband, provider, hero
Contemplating: Do I swallow
Something to help with
Sleep? Yes or No?
I feel the nothingness
So feel it fully
Where else does nothing exists
Tuesday, 1/03/23
I just thought of a
haiku, something about
sleep, and now I forget
Wednesday, 1/04/23
Breathe in, breathe out, let go
Headlamp provides light
So that I can write
No shorthand
Carol have great compassion
for youself
and for Andres
Thursday, 1/05/23
Fabio, beauty and grit
Horses sleep standing up
Sleep will come, be at peace
Friday, 1/06/23
And then I tell myself
Carol, you have nerve damage
And chronic insomnia
And a prednisone 'addiction'
which you are
coming off of
Not to mention pulmonary embolisms
last year
and anxiety and depression
Headlamp shines on page
Lines straight and loopy, neat and messy
Breathe now -- in, out
Sunday, 1/08/23
Tonight I will sleep restfully
Yea, I will lie down
My sleep shall be sweet
Tuesday, 1/10/23
I want to write haiku
but too tired from my work of
bathing and moving my body
That's 21 syllables
But I wrote
Wednesday, 1/11/23
What do I do next?
Carol, bask in all your body
has accomplished, thus far.
Bask in its continued ability
to the best of its capacity
to heal itself
Thursday, 1/12/23
I ventured to
the post office today
It was a surreal experience
I love you Body
You have serviced me so well
And will contine
Until its time to stop
How many times have I
told my story to these walls?
One thousand? Ten thousand?
Friday, 1/13/23
Thirty-five years ago tonight
I was in the hospital
The next day, I birthed new life
Saturday, 1/14/23
The sun came out today
And the cold wind blew
And they kissed my face
Monday, 1/16/23
Wearied Body, Pain Shoots
Scrambled Brain, Thoughts Gobbly-gook
All in a day's work
Tuesday, 1/17/23
People pass before my eyes
And other creatures too
To each, I send love
Gratitude brushes my cheeks
As the other
Smiles back at me too
Wednesday, 1/28/23
I love the days
when I'm in the flow
All that is needed
I will know
Empty coffee pot
Sits on table
Awaiting liquid
Friday, 1/20/23
Sunday, 1/22/23
What of today?
It came. It went.
Tomorrow will do the same.
I pray to God
Please bring me healing, relief
Teach me how, Oh Lord
Feldenkrais
The name has the same magic to me as
Shackleton
Monday, 1/23/23
Pill bottles so many
100s & 100s, 1000s & 1000s
Of pills
Comfy bed
Supportive pillows
Sweet Unicorn
What else is needed?
Tuesday, 1/24/23
I know not what to write
So I draw letters on the page
Anyway
Wednesday, 1/25/23
Imagine a day
Free of pain
And don't stop imagining
Thru the water within the ocean
Symbiosis
And the moon plays too
Thursday, 1/26/23
My reflection in the picture
on the wall
sunset, quiet seas
Sunday, 1/29/23
Carol, scrolling your phone
will not help you
feel connected.
So, back away.
I can't keep up
With all the tasks I think
I need to do
So stop
Yes stop
The cream rises to the top
And that is the most needful
O dear Body
I love every cell of You
Thru and thru
Rest, rest
Monday, 1/30/23
How did life become
so complicated?
Possessions. Possessions. Possessions.
I cannot control the future
I cannot change the past
I can breathe
In, out
I can no longer breathe
underwater
Since emerging
from the womb
